Happy Depression Pt. 2

In addition to missing my friend...
I am so stressed and confused.
My job is so stressful...
My managers are always discussing me behind my back.
When I called in sick, they asked my dad (we work at the same place) to verify.
I hate it there.

Recently, I asked for less hours, because working 35 hours a week makes it difficult to finish my school work.
I asked for no more than 20, but slowly, they are adding more and more hours
I think they don't want to accept that I need to focus on school.
Also, I feel my managers are lying to me...
I have already caught them a couple of times... but there's nothing I can do


I am so worried about school
I want to do well... but I'm so tired
I am too numb to eat ... I have to force myself to eat even just one or two meals a day...
This causes my body to be so weak
Also, I can't sleep...
I have so much to do and I am always worried about school...
I can't sleep if I am worried...
I think the only way to not worry about school is to quit my job.


Recently I started my own business...
Giving conversational English on Skype
I created a separate Skype account for my business
So far... I don't have any customers though...
If I could get enough customers, I could quit my job
I could just focus on giving Skype lessons
I only charge $20 for 50 minutes
If I could get 5 customers every day
I could earn $100 dollars a day
And I would be helping people learn English -- it makes me happy to help people


I will continue to try to get customers, but it's difficult....
Also... when I have to worry about School and work, it's difficult to be awake during the times that are useful to the people I want to help (because of the time zone differences)
Because I have to work during the day, when I am sleeping...
Though it is night here, in Asia it is daytime
It makes it difficult... because I am asleep when the people I want to help are awake


So... I feel so sad, depressed and numb
Because I am worried about school and worried about doing well with my business -- so I can quit my other job
But mostly, I am worried about school．．．
I want to do well... but I can't
Because I don't have the time or energy to focus on the assignments I have to read
I am so tired -  even though they are in English, I can't understand them...
I feel so hopeless... I feel like a failure...